Category Archives: Thoughts on a Godly Marriage

Wednesday’s with JoAnna

In love #1 Wednesday is a special day in the life of the Jackson family. JoAnna and I have been having lunch together on Wednesday’s for a very long time. By the grace of our Lord we will be married 34 years this September and it seems that we have been making Wednesday’s special for almost that long. I am not sure the exact day that we started our tradition, but I do think I remember the why.

Life is busy in our household and has been almost from the beginning. We had our first child in our first year of marriage, a miscarriage in our second year and our second child in our fourth year. I was self-employed working more than I should have been, and JoAnna and I were not connecting as husband and wife, as man and woman, as lovers. We had a lot going on. In the chaos of this thing we call life, we needed a time out.

I will tell you, that I do know from day one of our marriage, we have had a date night once a week, but those details are for another post. This is about Wednesday lunch. Wednesday lunch came about because of a special reason. It was the one thing that we really had to make time for, or I must point out, I had to make time for. Time after dinner, date night, time when the kids were in bed, those times came naturally for us. They were never long enough, but they were a natural part of our family rhythm.

Wednesday lunch required me to step out of my work week. It required me to be intentional about meeting up with my wife. Now don’t think that it came natural to me. I fought it like a dog over a bone. Imagine it like this. “I am a pro football player in the middle of a game and somewhere between the first and second quarter I walk off the field to have lunch with my wife, leaving everyone else waiting.” Can you imagine the craziness of it? Can you imagine how special it made my wife feel?

Proverbs 31:10 says, “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” A lot of us may say and mean, that our wives are worth more than rubies, but how many of us show it by putting down our work in the middle of the week? I have suggested it to many, but few have listened. It is not the day, it is the time of the day. It is an intentional act on the part of both. I come at it from a husband’s perspective, but it carries equal weight on the wives part.

I approach it as a needed time out, time with my wife. A time to make her special and a time to recharge my life with her as a woman. JoAnna is acting for the exact same reasons. She needs a time out, time with her husband and time to recharge her life with me as her man. We are both committed to making each other special. It is truly a mutual time of loving on each other.

We guard our Wednesday lunch jealously. Few things or few events get in the way of it. We have one rule, “NO TALKING ABOUT BUSINESS,”( Life business, kids, checking accounts, car repairs, doctors, etc.) We just talk about life together. Sometimes, but rarely, by necessity, some business will creep in, and we have gotten in the habit of spending a few minutes to sync our calendars (work with personal and social commitments).

It is one big step on the way to having a Godly marriage. It does not have to be Wednesday, but remember it is not about what is convenient or natural. It is about being intentional and stepping outside of the ordinary. It takes effort from both spouses. It means driving up town or downtown. It means both husband and wife leaving wherever they are and meeting up. If you are both working it means syncing your lunches and finding a halfway point. If one of you stays home it means getting your self out of the house or getting the house ready for a special guest. It means being intentional.

AND if you are thinking it is about you, than I have not been able to articulate the point very well. Maybe this will help. Words from our Lord himself, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”(Acts 20:35). Our Lord was intentional about coming to us, He set down His work and made our work His work. He took a timeout for us. He came because He loves us.

In His peace and Love

Roy